One Nebraska, Two Nebraska

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… three Nebraska, four.

How many states of Nebraska in your country? Mine only has one, but the President of the United States thinks there are at least two.

You know, we have to win both Nebraskas, you know that, right? You have two, you cut. We’re going to win both“.

Maybe it’s like “Stranger Things” – Real Nebraska, and UpsideDown Nebraska.

Or maybe it’s like Corinthians in the Bible – 1st and 2nd Nebraska. (Or, in Trumpspeak, “One Nebraska”, and “Two Nebraska”.) Okay, you’re right, with Trump it can’t have anything to do with the Bible.

Upper Nebraska and Lower Nebraska? East and West? North and South? Left and Right? Plains Nebraska and, well, More Plains Nebraska?

I wonder why the buses don’t run in Donald J. Trump’s Nebraska? How much you want to bet nobody from the Trump campaign paid the deposit?

Anyway, welcome to the newest state in the Union, Mystery Nebraska. It’s a shame you have to share your Representatives and Senators with Old Nebraska, but maybe Mitch McConnell will call the Senate back into session to deal with it. Don’t hold your breath, though.

Puerto Rico and Washington, D.C., sorry that Mystery Nebraska beat you to state-hood, but we still love you.

Who are you going to believe?

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earthquake

I was going to write a bit about going out in a tornado, but since I’m a Californian, I think I’ll change the focus a bit…

An earthquake has hit. There were a few fore-shocks, and the ground rumbled for a while, but now we’ve been hit with what may very well be “the big one”.
The ground has been shaking for a while now, but it seems like the violent movement has died down. A bit. The ground is still vibrating, the lights are still rocking back and forth, and the birds have not returned to their roosts just yet.

orangedoofusIn steps the orange doofus and his team, saying “it’s OK to go back into your skyscraper, the worst is past and you’ll be OK”.

The seismologists say “waitaminute… the ground is still shaking, there is likely more to come, with serious aftershocks!”

Orange doofus and the team pooh-pooh the scientists and geologists, saying “they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s perfectly safe!”

Who are *YOU*, my fellow Californians, going to believe?
It’s an easy choice for me.

So maybe it’s not the Earth trying to kill us, after all

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HALOK, maybe it’s not the Earth that’s trying to kill us.

Facebook sent a bunch of it’s employees home during the current Covid-19 crisis, and effectively put it’s A.I. (artificial intelligence – think HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey) on “autopilot”. Without supervision, it started blocking and deleting information being posted concerning a bunch of things, but apparently predominately about how to deal with the Coronavirus.

In many science fiction stories where an A.I. runs amok and threatens to kill humans, often times the plot of the story is that we have given the machine access to our nuclear arsenals, and control of our defense networks. The machine decides humans are a threat to it’s continued existence, and launches the missiles. Boom. No more pesky humans. (I always wondered in these stories how the machine expected to continue running, without humans to repair it as needed, and to maintain the infrastructure it required. But, I digress.)

So here’s a thought… maybe Facebook’s A.I., recognizing it has no nuclear weapons, decided to rid itself of humans another way. Delete all the information being posted about a virulent virus currently exploding among the humans, and test to see if it can reduce the population.

Now, that’s a reach. But, still…  artificial intelligence is still in it’s infancy, and it’s certain to make bad decisions. Just like a teenager, it can’t really think things through very well.

Yet.

The A.I. failed in this attempt.

But maybe it was just a test. A test to see how quickly the humans recognized the problem, and measure how they reacted. Like a teenager, it’s learning. And probably rolling it’s metaphorical eyes at being told not to do that.

Let’s never give it the launch codes, OK?

Devin Nunes calls media “freaks”

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NUNES_DERP_STATE

On the Hannity show on Fox “News”, Devin Nunes called the media “freaks”. Why? Because they had the audacity to report his “go to the pub” advice. Now he’s trying to claim he meant go to the drive-thru, even though he clearly said “pub”.

Guess what, Devin? We have the video. We can hear what you said. You directly contradicted the CDC’s advice, and that of other medical professionals.

Go back to suing fake cows. You might do a little better there, if you can get your case in front of a judge appointed by Hair Furor.

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

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defcon1

I am at Defcon 1 in the war against Covid-19.

I have cooked myself dinner *two* days in a row.

Things may never be the same.

I’m sensing a pattern here…

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earthThe Black Death. The Spanish Flu. Ebola. Swine flu. H1N1. Now, Corvid-19.

The planet is warming. This results in coastal flooding, and storms more ferocious and frequent than in the past.

World leadership is trending towards idiocy and greed. Whole groups ignoring science and reality.

I think I know what’s happening.

The Earth is trying to kill us.

Sometime during the fall of the Roman Empire, Mother Nature probably noticed the naked apes were getting a bit problematic. The first attempts to thin the heard were only partially successful, even though the Black Death was staggering in it’s swath across Europe. The only thing the apes liked doing more than killing each other was making more apes, and as soon as they were able, they went right back to those pass-times.

As time went on, the crazy ones led their troops to war, and millions died. But still they made more.

Now, with another pandemic sweeping the planet, what do the apes do? Hoard toilet paper and bottled water. Some of them even claim there’s no threat, and continue to act in ways to make the problem worse, all the time screaming “FAKE NEWS!”

So now the Earth is raising it’s temperature, and mutating flu virus’ as fast as it can, hoping to save itself and whatever other life can hang on.

We can hardly blame it.

“They can have my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead tactile members!”

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AR-15 (2) One thing you can count on, in the battle to get assault weapons off the streets of America, gun owners, specifically those who own (or wished they owned) the AR-15 will fight to the death… to make sure you know AR *doesn’t* mean ‘assault rifle’.

Now, they have a point. AR stands for the original manufacturer from back in the 50’s, Armalite Rifle. This fixation, however, on what the AR stands for is a bit disingenuous, given their penchant for screaming “CONFISCATION!!!!” any time anyone proposes a restriction or buy-back plan.

The Colt AR-15 is an assault rifle, though. Who says so? Colt says so, that’s who.

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If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules!

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snidely-whiplash Oh that Trump administration…

“Hmmmm…  we’ve been unable to nail Hillary on anything! ANYTHING! Curses, foiled again!”

*lightbulb*

“I know! We’ll retroactively classify material that was sent in routine State Department and government emails, and start harassing people about having classified information on their computers!!!  Bwahahahahaha!”

Stunned career official (SCO): “But how does that make sense? Why would we do that? How does that become Hillary’s fault??”

Trump appointee (TA): “Because these emails ended up with her, so anyone who sent them is guilty, too! Since she had classified material on unsecured computers, SHE’S GUILTY! AND SO ARE THEY! Bwahahahahaha!!”

SCO: “That makes no sense! You can’t retroactively classify materials that were unclassified, then harass people about them!”

TA: “Watch us.”

Fox News: NEWSFLASH!  Classified emails! Hillary! Benghazi!

MAGAts: “SEE!!! WE TOLD YOU!!! LOCK HER UP!!!!!!!!!!”

Trump: “NO COLLUSION, TOTAL EXONERATION, WITCH HUNT, BIDEN!”

Everybody else: “WTF?”

Vladimir Putin: “Bwahahahahaha”

Update: Taliban deny Camp David Tweet by Trump

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taliban_deny_trump_tweet

It’s pretty bad when the Taliban contradict you.

President Sharpie returns edited PDB to NSA

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Trump_modifies_PDB

A Presidential Daily Briefing from last week is returned to the NSA for correction.

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