“It’s the end of the world!! Again!!”

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Bar-CodeIn the 40’s, it was the Nazis.  In the 50’s, it was the Communists.  In the 60’s, it was the hippies.  In the 70’s, it was the Nixon administration.  Something is always just about to come over the hill, or around the corner, and destroy “THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE!!” (trademark, copyright 1776)

We’ve had an endless onslaught of nonsense from the doomsayers for more than 70 years.  (truth be told, for a lot longer than that)  The past 5 years have been incredibly dense with “Chicken Littles”, however.  We’ve had the ‘death panels’.  Birth certificates.  The power of a father seen only a few times in a lifetime over the mind of a man elected President.  “He’s a socialist!” “He’s a communist!”  “He’s gay, and gay married!”  “IT’S THE END OF OUR WAY OF LIFE!!!!”

Facebook is now seeing the latest round of nonsense, that combines more hysteria and the fear of “big government!”.  (No, not the big government that wants to tell you what to do with your body, or who you can marry, the OTHER big government.)  Today’s breathless end-of-our-lives-as-we-have-known-them claims?  Chips!

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April 14-20 2013 National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week

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“You did WHAT with your 2 year old???”

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kindergarten_cop
I don’t often order people around on 9-1-1 calls.  It’s not my place to tell them what to do, or how to behave.  My job is simply to gather information, and dispatch the appropriate equipment and people to deal with their emergency.  This morning a 9-1-1 call came in that tossed all my training right out the window.  I had to use my “cop voice”, and order someone (and it took several times) to do something.  I really don’t recall the last time I’ve done that.

This morning’s call, however, had me in full “get your ass back home right now!” mode.

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Our newest K9 visits dispatch

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“Daisy”, our newest K9, visits us during a slow moment in dispatch.  Until she’s trained, her primary attack form will be licking people into submission.

The Case of the Rooster on the lam

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chicken“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” (just before midnight)

“My  chicken got loose and it’s in my neighbor’s back yard. Can I go back there and get it?  Nobody’s answering the door.”

I convinced him it would be a bad idea to go into his neighbor’s back yard at midnight, trying to capture his chicken.  He claimed it was his livelihood, but I’m figuring it’s not some remarkable stud animal.  I told him I’d send a deputy to speak to him about his options (I was glad I wouldn’t be the one actually dispatching the call….  “see the man about a chicken”), but he declined, as he said he’d been drinking a fair amount, and didn’t want to speak to a cop.

A few minutes later, the neighbor calls 9-1-1, reporting a strange man beating on his front door, looking for a chicken!

By the time we did dispatch a deputy to check the area, the man out looking for his unleashed cock had gone home, the neighbor went back to bed, and I have no idea what happened to the bird.

Another night in the life of a 9-1-1 dispatch center in the heart of ag country.

“9-1-1, what’s YOUR emergency?? “

Is “Potluck Dinner” gay code for “orgy”?

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A recent post of mine over at Queerlandia.com.

Peace, and bunnies

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Peace, and bunnies

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