The GOP’s Bestest, Brightest, most stable genius

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mars-moon

See the celestial object on the left? That’s Mars. See the one on the right? That’s the Moon. They are not part of each other. The President of the United States in 2019 does not know this.

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The Republican Party in the 21st century has given us George Bush and Donald Trump. While I always thought Bush was not the brightest bulb in his family’s chandelier, I always assumed he had a basic knowledge of how things were. With Trump, one wonders if he ever learned anything over his lifetime other than how to get rich cheating contractors, the government, and banks.

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Donald J. Trump. The best the GOP has to offer. Putin approved, protected by McConnell.

Hey, Donnie? Going to Mars *IS* rocket science, so lets leave it up to the rocket scientists to figure out the best way to get there. It’s clear they’ve decided the Moon is an important waypoint in that journey, so we go there first.

Oh, and in case you missed it, the Moon is 238,000 miles away, and Mars is 34 million (at it’s closest approach). The Moon is not part of Mars. And it’s not made of green cheese. Just thought you’d like to know.

Straight Pride Parade? Really? I get a visit.

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straightpride

Last month, if you’ll remember, I wrote about setting up a conference call with the gods, pleading for good weather at PrideVisalia 2019. Despite weather forecasts predicting rain, it was sunny and warm that day. The gods were disposed to grant my request, and held the downpour until the next day. Man, did it rain then! My eternal thanks to all of them for cooperating.

I had thought that would be the end of that, at least until next year, but this morning I learned an important lesson.

Once you become known as a contact point for a group, you’re stuck with it, for better or worse.

This morning, just before dawn, in that in-between time when stories have the spirits at their most active, I got dragged up from a pleasant dream to find I was not alone in my bedroom.

In fact, there was quite the crowd. They were standing around the bed, and they did not look pleased. Normally, this kind of thing would elicit a panicked response on my part, but for some reason I felt fairly calm. I must have been thinking “this is a new dream. Dang, that other one was more fun”, because I just kind of sat there, wondering why these folks were in my bedroom.

One of them, a woman, spoke up. “Jimmie, what in the hell is this thing about a straight pride parade in Boston?” I squinted at her in the dim morning light, trying to figure out who she was. “We were happy to hold the rain off for PrideVisalia, good job on that, by the way, I popped down and visited incognito, had a wonderful time, the Mom Hugs were a fantastic idea. Now we’re hearing that Boston is holding a straight pride? What the hell??” she said.

As the sleep was fading from my brain, I recognized the voice from the conference call.

“Tempestas, so nice to meet you in person,” I said. I thought I heard a thunderclap and rumble off in the distance. I remember thinking, “there’s no storms predicted for Visalia today…”

Another one of them spoke up, “Hey, answer the question! What’s up with this straight pride nonsense?!” I recognized that voice, too. “Ishkur, boy, that graphic artist got you spot on!”

The thunder got a bit louder, and I realized it was not coming from outside.

“uh, guys…  don’t sweat it,” I said. “A group of lonely straight guys, who apparently can’t get laid, have decided they need a pride parade to prove they’re just as cool as the gays. They’ll probably have a few dozen people show up, they’ll have some really lousy music, someone will give a speech that will be roundly ridiculed on social media, and it will be a lot of smoke and noise, and nothing else.”

Tempestas was still glaring at me, and said “I’m thinking of sending a hurricane to Boston that day. They haven’t had one since 1991, and I think they’re due for another, if they let this nonsense go on!”  The rest of the crowd murmured in agreement, and I knew I had to do something, quick. (that god time thing, again. For them, August 31, the planned day of the “parade” might as well be right now)

I asked them not to ruin Boston’s day just for a few nutcases, even if they are jerks.

“Is that Fryer back there?” I asked. “My thanks to you and Odin, and all the others, for granting my request for PrideVisalia. We really had a wonderful time.” The figure standing back in the growing light just nodded, and waved his hand at Tempestas and Ishkur, who had apparently been appointed to speak for the group. I turned my attention back to them.

“Really, please. It’s no big deal. They’ve been laughed at since the news broke that they were applying for a parade permit. Boston, as you all know, is about as progressive a place as there is in the United States, and they really can’t say no to this application, no matter how idiotic it may be. Let them have their straight pride parade, (there’s that rumble again, it’s getting louder… where is it coming from?) and we can forevermore hold it up to those who scream ‘why is there no straight pride!?!?’, and say there you go, you got one. After all, we’ve always told them if they felt they needed a parade, to organize one, and it looks like they finally took our advice.”

Tempestas was still glaring, and Ishkur had little lightning bolts flickering between his fingers as I spoke, and I remember a stray thought that I hoped those sparks wouldn’t damage my phone, sitting on the night stand next to where he was standing. Several others still grouped around the foot of my bed were looking a bit more calm, though, so I was hoping things were looking up. I really didn’t want to feel responsible if Boston got clobbered by a storm that day. Was that Indra standing next to my dresser?

Ishkur snapped his fingers, and the room was briefly brighter than I ever remember anything being, and he pointed at Tempestas. “Pay attention!” he thundered.

“Really,” I said, “don’t worry about it. This will be a one-time thing, and it won’t be all that much at that. Everyone will see this for what it is, another cheap slap at the LGBT community by incels that really feel powerless in their own lives. They’ll make a bit of noise, snarl traffic, and generate more hostility towards their ‘movement’. The difference between their little ‘parade’ and Boston’s Pride parade couldn’t be more stark, and they’ll do more damage to their cause than a hurricane would do to the region. Please, just let it go.”

By this time, the room had cleared out, it was just me, Tempestas and Ishkur remaining. From that I presumed that the other gods were willing to go along with ignoring straight pride, and all I had to do was seal the deal with those two.

“So, are we good?” I asked. “Boston is a really nice place, I hope to visit it one day, and these morons are just background noise. Let it pass, and let them fade into the obscurity they deserve.” I was crossing my fingers behind my back.

Ishkur looked at Tempestas, who appeared to be deep in thought.

“OK,” she said. “I can’t guarantee that there won’t be rain, or even a hurricane on that day, these things generally run on autopilot with very little input or notice by me. What I won’t do is deliberately “rain on their parade”, so to speak.” A small grin appeared, she clearly thought her pun was clever. I was not inclined to disagree, or give any sign of my internal groan.

“Thank you,” I said, as I bowed slightly, still sitting in bed. “You are a most gracious and kind goddess.” I was going to say more, but I got the distinct impression she wouldn’t have appreciated further groveling, and I thought I heard a rumble from Ishkur that implied I should stop while I was ahead. A wink from him as he faded from sight encouraged that idea.

Tempestas winked too, and was gone. I sat there for a bit, and thought to myself “that’s the last time I have chocolate chip mint ice cream right before bed.”  My next thought was as I was waking up several hours later, “what a wild dream. That’ll make a great blog post! What’s that rumbling noise?…”

 

 

 

 

Trump denies ordering USS John S. McCain fiasco

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05292019_trump_denies

So Trump says he didn’t know the Navy was ordered to cover up the insignia of the USS John S. McCain, berthed in sight of his activities on other Naval ships, while he was in Japan. News reports are saying the White House told the Navy to cover up anything that said “John McCain” on it. Sailors were told they couldn’t wear their Navy caps that included the ship’s name. Anything that could remind Trump of McCain was ordered covered up.

That begs some serious questions.

Who in the White House, *not in the chain of command*, can order the Navy around?

How far down the White House hierarchy does this capability go?

Why did the Navy comply?

Is this common practice for the Department of Defense?

Can the Vice-President order the Pentagon around?

Can the Speaker of the House, or the Senate Majority Leader?

Really, the Joint Chiefs need to explain how this happens.

The President is the Commander-in-Chief, but White House minions are not. If Trump didn’t order something, how can someone not in the military, and not in the chain of command, give an order in his name?

This will cycle out of the news quickly, but it’s an important issue. I hope it’s not swept under the rug and ignored.

P.S.

The covering of asses has begun:

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‘Till the cows come home

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devin_nunes_twitter_cow_parody

Washington, D.C. does something to people. Especially government people. I don’t know when it happened to Devin Nunes, but somewhere along the line, possibly about the time Barack Obama was elected President, Nunes dove into the deep end, and he’s not yet come up for air.

From the bottom of the sump pond that is Washington politics, nastier than any
dairy lagoon, he’s now suing a fake cow, and a honey bee. He’s up to 400 million dollars, claiming that his reputation has been impugned. He asserts that Twitter has “shadow banned” him (which Twitter denies*), and that a few parody accounts, which didn’t have much of a following until *after* his lawsuits were filed, tweeted mean things about him. He’s also suing The Fresno Beeclaiming they lied about him (they did not), and knew the things they were printing were lies (but he never responded to The Bee’s repeated attempts to contact him for rebuttal or comment).

So, that’s $250 million against Twitter, a fake cow, and a fake Nunes’ mom account. That action by Nunes generated endless parody accounts, and now we have everything from Devin Nunes’ Gay Cow, to his cat, his cow’s attorney, his “dad“, his “grandma“, the drag queen, and his skin (still thin, according to the one Tweet). Another $150 million against McClatchy and the Bee. For reporting about a drug-and-prostitute fueled party boat in the San Joaquin Delta, hosted by a winery in which Nunes owns stock. One can argue whether the story was worth pursuing, but The Bee reported factually, and Nunes refused to comment on it when the paper tried to contact him about it. His go-to, now, is the same as Trump’s: “FAKE NEWS!!”

While Nunes occupies his time suing a fake cow and his local newspaper, his district still has serious water issues, high unemployment numbers, high poverty levels, pollution, bad roads, and gang problems. Maybe he should devote some of his time to serving his constituents, and leave the bees and the cows alone.

*it’s amazing how many people in the top spots of government have no clue how things like Twitter work, and why people might not see a posting. Algorithms are apparently much too complex a concept for them to grasp.  

Alt-right confused over Trump/Smollett cases

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The alt-right* in this country is in a terrible pickle.

On one hand, they are cheering the apparent conclusion of the Mueller investigation. From Trump on down, they’re crowing that this proves “NO COLLUSION!!!” and “NO OBSTRUCTION!!!” (even though the Barr summary clearly says the report does NOT exonerate the President from obstruction). They feel so confident now that some of them (the President and spokesperson Sanders) are hinting they want to charge those who said there was evidence of collusion and of reporting those claims with treason, to be punished by death. It’s party time in the alt-right.

Except.

On the other hand, they are in vapor-lock, looking feverishly for their fainting couches, over prosecutors in Cook County, Illinois dropping charges against Empire actor Jussie Smollett’s claims of being attacked. Prosecutors initially charged Smollett for staging the attack.

What to do, what to do? Celebrate “the system” for “clearing” Dear Leader? But then how do they condemn the system for doing the same thing for a black gay actor?

Well, don’t worry. Logic and consistency has never been a prerequisite for anything coming from the alt-right in this country. They’ll quite easily hold two contradictory views of “the system”, since it suits them. They won’t even see the contradiction.

Meanwhile, the nation turns it’s hopes towards SDNY and other district and state courts to finish what Mueller started. Smollett might have skated, but it doesn’t look like Trump et al will, in the long run.

*sometimes also called white supremacists, white nationalists, white separatists, anti-Semites, neo-Nazis, neo-fascists, neo-Confederates, Holocaust deniers, and conspiracy theorists. To name just a few.

White House threatening to kill political opponents.

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sarahuckabeesanders03252019 White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders today threatened political opponents of President Trump with the death penalty for treason. In an interview today, Sanders said “They are literally, the media and Democrats have called the president an agent of a foreign government. That is an accusation equal to treason, which is punishable by death in this country,” she said to NBC.

The President said “There are a lot of people out there that have done some very, very evil things, some bad things, I would say some treasonous things against our country. And hopefully people that have done such harm to our country — we’ve gone through a period of really bad things happening — those people will certainly be looked at. ”

“I’ve been looking at them for a long time,” he added, “and I’m saying why haven’t they been looked at? They lied to Congress, many of them, you know who they are. They’ve done so many evil things.”

So now you have the Office of the President of the United States saying in so many words that he’s going to take a page from the Russian and North Korean playbooks, and go after those he views as enemies.

He’s been spending some time, apparently, studying the ways of Putin, Kim, and other despots around the world, and deciding their methods will work for him.

Trump sent out an email blast today, complaining about $25 million spent, and the two year “witch hunt” about collusion. Not a peep about the multiple investigations of Hillary Clinton by the Republican Congress, nor the money wasted there.

The GOP better move to clean up it’s act, and do something to reign in this madness, before Trump and party destroy what’s left of the United States.

These people are despicable.

 

That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

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trump

Mueller has sent his “confidential report” to the Attorney General, William Barr. Barr has sent a letter to Congress, saying the report finds no evidence of collusion between 45, or anyone associated with him, and the Russians in the run-up to the 2016 election.

In the report, Mueller says “while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

Naturally, 45 immediately claimed on Twitter, “No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total EXONERATION. KEEP AMERICA GREAT!”

Sigh.

Donnie, that’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

The Southern District of New York is still in the game. As are numerous state investigations. Not to mention the House of Representatives. You’re a long way from “complete and total exoneration,” Donnie.

I feel a bit like I’m in a crime drama, and the grizzled FBI agent tells me about this Mafia boss and his crime family and all the heinous crimes they’ve committed over the decades. When I ask why they’re not all in jail, the reply is “we’ve never been able to make anything stick.”  In no version of that show does anyone then say, “well, that must mean he’s totally innocent!” Well, the mafia boss might, but he doesn’t count.

Somebody on the Internet said Robert Mueller popped his head up out of the ground, saw his shadow, so now we’ll have two more years of this mess. I hope we can stand it.

We need to see the report, if for no other reason than to figure out how 45 pulled this off. Remember, he never expected, or really wanted, to win the Presidency. We need to see how Putin managed to manipulate the election, and how to protect ourselves from the next attack.

Meanwhile, Hair Furor will continue to scream “NO COLLUSION! TOTAL EXONERATION!” with every Tweet.

 

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