Dragon update

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green-dragon It’s been a while, so it’s probably time for a dragon update. As you’ll recall, I introduced you to my (secret, don’t tell anyone) brood back in 2011, and reported on the chaos that erupted when they thought there were going to be rainbow dragons at Pride Visalia 2018.

Well, they’re now nine (going on ten, as they are quick to remind me) and getting near to dragon puberty. The older ones, who fly in from time to time to check on us, assure me it gets easier as they get older, but I’m not sure I believe them.

Over the years, I’ve had to enlarge the basement several times to accommodate the weyr, and if the neighbors ever dig deep on their lots we could be in trouble. So far, so good, though.

The biggest problem, of course, other than the fire-breathing, is letting them out for exercise. It’s problematic, having dragons flying around Visalia late at night. Most adult humans are oblivious, no doubt because they know that dragons aren’t real. They seldom look up at the sky anymore, anyway. Kids, though, are something else. They’re always looking at the sky, and spot the group fairly frequently. Fortunately, when they squeal and yell out, “Mommy! Daddy! Dragons!”, they usually get a distracted “that’s nice, dear”. As more and more kids get a cell phone, which have ever-increasingly sophisticated cameras, it’s only a matter of time before someone gets a decent picture of the group, led by Draco, soaring above town. (He’s quite fond of downtown. If you see a gargoyle sitting on the edge of a downtown building that you don’t remember seeing before, that’s probably him. Ignore him. You’ll feed an already inflated ego if you don’t. I don’t need that. He’s always been the most insufferable of the group, please don’t make it worse! The others tend to hide in trees. They’re still a bit shy in public.) I’m hoping dismissing it as a photoshop will be enough to keep people guessing. After all, we’re still waiting for a definitive photograph of Sasquatch, right?

The voices are still London-boys-after-helium-hits squeaky, although not quite as bad as when they were very small. The sibling rivalry is still there, perhaps not as dire as it once was, but it may be the calm before the puberty storm. They still think they sound wise and venerable, but we won’t tell them that doesn’t really happen until *after* puberty.  Can you imagine them trying to insult each other as their voices crack? It’s going to be difficult to stifle my amusement.

And hormones. Oh dear… dragon hormones. The old ones refuse to tell me what to expect with that, and Google doesn’t seem to know, either. I’m not sure if teen-aged dragons can do eye rolls, but I bet they come up with something just as annoying.

The brood is mostly under control, and they haven’t burned down my house, or ate any of the neighborhood cats (as far as I know). I’m a bit concerned about the availability of Dragon Chow, however. With this Coronavirus thing going on, delivery might be an issue. I’m assured supplies are adequate, and I have plenty for now (they only sell in bulk anyway), so we should be good. Thank goodness dragons are immune to human diseases!

So that’s the update. They are currently back in the basement, sleeping quietly, and no doubt dreaming dragon dreams of valor and adventure. I had to turn off the TV a little while ago, as they fell asleep watching another movie about a dragon who saves the kingdoms of the world from evil.

Sleep well, my little heroes.

So maybe it’s not the Earth trying to kill us, after all

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HALOK, maybe it’s not the Earth that’s trying to kill us.

Facebook sent a bunch of it’s employees home during the current Covid-19 crisis, and effectively put it’s A.I. (artificial intelligence – think HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey) on “autopilot”. Without supervision, it started blocking and deleting information being posted concerning a bunch of things, but apparently predominately about how to deal with the Coronavirus.

In many science fiction stories where an A.I. runs amok and threatens to kill humans, often times the plot of the story is that we have given the machine access to our nuclear arsenals, and control of our defense networks. The machine decides humans are a threat to it’s continued existence, and launches the missiles. Boom. No more pesky humans. (I always wondered in these stories how the machine expected to continue running, without humans to repair it as needed, and to maintain the infrastructure it required. But, I digress.)

So here’s a thought… maybe Facebook’s A.I., recognizing it has no nuclear weapons, decided to rid itself of humans another way. Delete all the information being posted about a virulent virus currently exploding among the humans, and test to see if it can reduce the population.

Now, that’s a reach. But, still…  artificial intelligence is still in it’s infancy, and it’s certain to make bad decisions. Just like a teenager, it can’t really think things through very well.

Yet.

The A.I. failed in this attempt.

But maybe it was just a test. A test to see how quickly the humans recognized the problem, and measure how they reacted. Like a teenager, it’s learning. And probably rolling it’s metaphorical eyes at being told not to do that.

Let’s never give it the launch codes, OK?

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

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defcon1

I am at Defcon 1 in the war against Covid-19.

I have cooked myself dinner *two* days in a row.

Things may never be the same.

Santa has been hitting the gym…

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0001santa

I hear he’s bought himself a bright red Corvette, and has an adorable little place in Key West for the off season. Rumor also has it that he’s house hunting in Palm Springs, just to change things up now and then!

Happy Holidays!

If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules!

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snidely-whiplash Oh that Trump administration…

“Hmmmm…  we’ve been unable to nail Hillary on anything! ANYTHING! Curses, foiled again!”

*lightbulb*

“I know! We’ll retroactively classify material that was sent in routine State Department and government emails, and start harassing people about having classified information on their computers!!!  Bwahahahahaha!”

Stunned career official (SCO): “But how does that make sense? Why would we do that? How does that become Hillary’s fault??”

Trump appointee (TA): “Because these emails ended up with her, so anyone who sent them is guilty, too! Since she had classified material on unsecured computers, SHE’S GUILTY! AND SO ARE THEY! Bwahahahahaha!!”

SCO: “That makes no sense! You can’t retroactively classify materials that were unclassified, then harass people about them!”

TA: “Watch us.”

Fox News: NEWSFLASH!  Classified emails! Hillary! Benghazi!

MAGAts: “SEE!!! WE TOLD YOU!!! LOCK HER UP!!!!!!!!!!”

Trump: “NO COLLUSION, TOTAL EXONERATION, WITCH HUNT, BIDEN!”

Everybody else: “WTF?”

Vladimir Putin: “Bwahahahahaha”

President Sharpie returns edited PDB to NSA

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Trump_modifies_PDB

A Presidential Daily Briefing from last week is returned to the NSA for correction.

States rights (federalism), except for California.

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GettyImages-capitol-CA-flag

In their 2016 platform, the Republican party says “Federalism is a cornerstone of our constitutional system. Every violation of state sovereignty by federal officials is not merely a transgression of one unit of government against another; it is an assault on the liberties of individual Americans.” 

My, how times change. More

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