Mother Nature Attempts Revenge for Dandelion Massacre

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Scene of the attempted homocide.

Visalia, CA – Mother Nature, in a blatant act of revenge, attempted to commit homocide* this afternoon.   Using one of the most pervasive tools at her disposal, gravity, the suspect, generally considered a loving, benign caretaker of all things natural, tried to revenge herself for the recent actions of a local resident, Jim Reeves, 53.

On March 19, 2010, this website published an expose, written by Reeves, about Mother Nature, revealing a heretofore secret about the favoritism shown by her towards one particular member of her menagerie.

Yes, the dandelion.  That expose, and recent attempts by the victim to remove them from his front yard, resulted in today’s attempt at  homocide*.  While the intended victim was on a ladder cleaning debris from rain gutters, Mother Nature increased friction between the ladder steps and his boots, and caused a sudden surge in the gravity field just beneath him.  While the attempt caught the intended victim off guard, a quick and graceful (well, not graceful, but let’s not argue with success) cat-like mid-air twist resulted in a safe landing feet first on the sidewalk.   The attack was thwarted by the quick reactions and general he-man-ness of the modest Visalia resident.  “She may try again,” said Reeves, “but she’ll have to do better than that.  I may be getting older, but I’m not an old man just yet! I suspect she’ll lay low for a while, but if I know her, she’ll try again. ”

*yes, we know that’s not the correct spelling of homicide.  Reeves’ insisted on this spelling.  He’s also aware what speaking in the third person means.

Mother Nature and Her Plants (via JimmieJoe.com)

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She’s Back! Mother Nature is making her annual appearance in my yard.

Mother Nature and Her Plants Mother Nature.  What a gal…  You’ve got to give her credit, she’s quite the industrious gardener.  Leave a plot of ground unattended for even a short time, and she’ll dive right in and start working.  Even our lawns aren’t spared her loving touch.  She must not really care for the carefully manicured, smooth expanses that most of us like in front of our homes.  It takes no time at all for her to start her ministrations,  tossing seeds hither an … Read More

via JimmieJoe.com

Mother Nature and Her Plants

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Mother Nature.  What a gal…  You’ve got to give her credit, she’s quite the industrious gardener.  Leave a plot of ground unattended for even a short time, and she’ll dive right in and start working.  Even our lawns aren’t spared her loving touch.  She must not really care for the carefully manicured, smooth expanses that most of us like in front of our homes.  It takes no time at all for her to start her ministrations,  tossing seeds hither and yon, and upsetting the best laid plans of everyone trying to have a putting green (or at least a fairway) as their yard.

I envision her as a somewhat absent minded (in that carefully crafted,  wisdom-of-the-ages style),  slightly distracted, but always completely aware of what’s going on.  Puttering around in her garden, which is of course the entire planet, cooing sweet nothings to her botanical charges. Look, a butterfly just landed on her outstretched finger.  They’re whispering something to each other, but of course we’ll never be privy to what they share.  Sometimes she’ll look over at you while she’s in communion with her various creatures, and I swear she’s telling it some funny little story, probably at the human’s expense.  She’s not above a little teasing, now and then.

I’ve discovered one thing about her, however.  I know what her favorite flower is.

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