A Woman, A Sweaty Horse, and 9-1-1

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From the Archives, August 10, 2008 – “Stupid Drunk Human Tricks”

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I almost titled this one “stupid criminal tricks” but until someone actually gets convicted, I suppose criminal is a bit judgmental….

Here’s the latest story that has us shaking our heads at what people will try to do to get out of trouble. The place and time – State Route 99, south of Pixley, California (in California’s great Central Valley) – about 3am. One of our south county patrol units is driving up 99 towards Pixley, heading back to the Substation. He sees a vehicle displaying all the signs of an intoxicated driver, so he makes a traffic stop. After the normal “license, registration, and insurance” interaction, the deputy gets on the radio and asks to have the CHP dispatched for a drunk driver. I get on the phone and place that call to get them started, when I hear my supervisor pick up a 9-1-1 line, and things start getting interesting…….

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Albert Didn’t Visit Us Last Night

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The Duty Officer has many responsibilities to tend to during his or her shift in dispatch.  One of those duties is answering the intercoms posted at various doors to the building.  Several times a night, the buzzer at one or the other of the doors will sound, with someone needing help.  Almost without fail, they are looking for the jail.  Posting signs at either intercom, indicating that each particular door is NOT the jail, and pointing out where one needs to go to find the jail, rarely produces the desired result.  They still buzz, and are still looking for the jail.  Last night, we had one that had me laughing harder than I have for a long time.

“BUUUZZZZZZ”  (they love to hold down that call button)

Duty officer:  “Can I help you?”

Gentlemen at the intercom:  “Yes”.

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