You know, it’s bad enough when you have to deal with the bad breath, the scorching, and the mess (what the HELL do they eat that comes out smelling THAT bad???)… but I SPECIFICALLY told them I was NOT going to play baby sitter to a brood of the little demons.
I explained the facts of life to them, even going as far as doing research so I wouldn’t steer them wrong, but it appears it was all for naught.
Oh, they gave me some lame excuses… you know the ones… about how it couldn’t happen while they were flying, or how it couldn’t happen their first time over a new continent, or how they just didn’t do such things! Yeah. Right.
So now I’m stuck. And it’s no fun, either. They won’t do as I say, they fly right in front of your face buzzing around like a giant mosquito, and a burp can end up burning the house down! The little bastards think they’re the gods of the universe, since they can fly and breathe fire! I try to take them down a notch now and then… I’ve told them it’s only methane, and it only works because there’s a venting error going on, but they’re having none of that.
The British accents on the big ones lend them an air of solemnity and wisdom, but I’m beginning to suspect it’s an affectation rather than an inborn trait. The little ones sound ridiculously squeaky, and it’s a hoot to listen to them try to sound dignified and wise… that’s just not going to work. Especially when they start calling each other names. Sibling rivalry runs rampant in this brood, as I suspect it does in all of them, and apparently ” fire proof ” is the vilest of invectives. It cracks me up every time they use it on each other… all I can hear is some little brat from London, after a hit from a helium balloon. (Don’t tell them… they’re still a bit sensitive about their voices. It’s something they’ll grow out of eventually, but you know kids… later might as well be forever)
The only thing that saves their little greenish backsides is that they’re so damned cute when they’re asleep! (Which supposedly only happens when they’re little. The big ones claim never to sleep. I don’t know whether to believe them or not.)
Dragon update 2026
June 29, 2026
Jim Reeves commentary, Humor, Personal dragon tales, dragons, Dragons in Visalia, weyr Leave a comment
Did you know I raise dragons? Crazy, huh? I’ve talked about them before, in previous blogs. “Here Be Dragons“, “Rainbow Dragons at Pride Visalia?“, and “Dragon Update“. Check them out.
The issue with them today is food costs. Yikes! The Purina Dragon Chow I usually get them has jumped in price. I buy in bulk, so it’s been a while since my last order, and had a bit of a sticker shock moment when I went to reorder. These lizards are getting expensive! (I at least cut down on home repair costs by moving them to a stone building. No more scorched basement beams, or crispy wall coverings!)
But, they are cute as hell, and I can’t really let them go foraging among the stray dogs and cats in the city, now can I? The occasional opossum or gopher isn’t really a big thing overall, but they don’t seem to be able to smell skunk, and when they bring one of those home, it’s… well, it’s not fun. And yes, I do let them out once in a while to stretch their wings. Even though the underground lair is quite expansive, it’s still not enough to let them really get some exercise in. Good thing they’re as nocturnal as I am! It wouldn’t do to have them seen flying around in broad daylight, now would it?
They are miffed, I must say, to hear about the Visalia City Council gutting the oak tree ordinance. Some of those very old trees make great perches from which to survey their domains. So far, I’ve been able to deflect them from plotting revenge, but as more trees disappear, it might become difficult. I’m thinking I’ll blame the King, as they’re quite enamored with the entire royalty thing, and might see it as his divine right. We’ll see.
I guess I better get my order in, before prices go even higher.
I wonder if Amazon carries Dragon Chow?
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