Visalia Police encrypt all radio traffic

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As of March 20, 2025, the Visalia Police Department has switched from open transmission, receivable on any scanner, and on many types of consumer 2-way radios such as Amateur Radio Service equipment, GMRS, FRS, and phone apps, to fully encrypted transmissions. This prevents the general public from monitoring police transmissions.

This is in response to a 2020 California Department Of Justice requirement that certain “personally identifiable information (PII)” be encrypted. Here’s what Google’s AI said about it:

DOJ Mandate:
In October 2020, the California Department of Justice (DOJ) notified law enforcement agencies that they must encrypt any radio communications transmitting confidential Criminal Justice Information (CJI) and Personally Identifiable Information (PII).


Alternative Approaches:
While encryption is the primary method, the DOJ allows agencies to meet the requirements through alternative policies that restrict the sharing of PII while still allowing the transmission of other information through open frequencies.


Examples of Alternative Methods:
Using MDTs, department cellular phones, or landline telecommunications to transmit and receive PII .
Breaking up personal information by transmitting details such as a person’s name, birthday, and address in separate transmissions or even in different channels .


Agencies Opting for Open Radio Communications:
Some agencies, like the California Highway Patrol (CHP) and dozens of counties and cities, have opted to continue sharing their radio communications while protecting personal information through alternative methods.

Visalia PD has gone to full-time encryption, and hopes CAD (computer aided dispatch) updates on a webpage, along with press releases, will assuage the public’s displeasure over loosing the ability to monitor the transmissions.

The trouble with those plans is that information will only become available after the event, and will contain no details other than the general area of the event, and a vague incident type category.

Needless to say, many people are not happy. I’m one of them.

I dispatched law enforcement for 25 years at the Tulare County Sheriff’s Office. (BTW, this is my opinion only, not TCSO’s. While they have not gone to full encryption yet, they do have the ability to do so.)

I see no good reason to go to full encryption of all transmissions.

With the ever-growing YouTube proliferation of videos showing the interaction between police and the general public, and with the common theme of highlighting bad interactions rather than good ones, you’d think police departments would be working on improving their public relations, instead of hunkering down and, effectively, saying ‘it’s none of your business except for what we decide to tell you, later’. It give the impression that you’re hiding something. It also makes it easier to actually hide something.

Now, I think quite highly of the Visalia Police Department. I know the Chief, and worked with his wife some years ago when she was also a dispatcher. This decision, however, is very disappointing.

I can, just off the top of my head, think of two alternatives to full-time encryption.

  1. (Almost?) Every police car has a mobile data terminal computer, called various things, but I’m most familiar with MDT. PII can be transmitted there. Most MDTs these days use a cellular phone data connection, and are both encrypted and next to impossible to monitor. (no FCC type-accepted equipment can be sold or used in the US that can receive cell phone frequencies.) Use the MDT for PII.
  2. Visalia PD has two primary channels. Channel one is the main dispatch channel, and could be broadcast in the clear for non-PII information. Channel two could be fully encrypted at all times, and officers could switch to that channel for confidential information. The radios can be programmed with each channel either encrypted or not, so the officer has only to change channels. No other action on their part is required. The Tulare County Sheriff’s Office has used a secondary channel for such information requests for years. It’s easily accomplishable, and does not cut the public out of it’s ability to monitor the police.

Option 2 seems to me to be the most easily accomplished compromise between meeting the requirements of the DOJ and maintaining a positive relationship with the community.

There are also some technical issues with encryption that I would not be surprised VPD is discovering right now. Since open transmissions by VPD in the past have been analog FM, poor signal traffic can often be understood, especially by seasoned dispatchers. Weak signals, broken transmissions, noisy environments all make for difficult to hear or understand messages. An officer on the ground wrestling with a drunk suspect and is calling for help needs the ability to be heard by dispatch. Digital takes some of that away, as it’s all or nothing. A weak signal is not heard at all, and if a signal drops out, it’s simply not there anymore. The dispatcher cannot make out what their radio does not receive.

Police Captain Daniel Ford will be speaking on this subject at the next Visalia Citizen’s Advisory Committee meeting, to be held Wednesday, April 2, 2025, at the conference room of the City Offices located at 220 N. Santa Fe, in Visalia. The meeting time is 5:30pm, and it is open to the public. (the city webpage says meetings are held at the Convention Center, but this is outdated information)

Go back to open transmissions, VPD. It’s better for everyone. Especially you.

Sunnova – our rules only apply to you, not us

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So here’s the latest on the solar panel repair fiasco. They, of course, refuse to pay ME $100 for THEIR missing an appointment, although if the missed appointment had been MY fault, they would charge ME $100. My take on the situation? Don’t deal with Sunnova if you can avoid it.


02/11/2025

Dear Jim Reeves,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about the appointment.

I understand your frustration regarding the missed appointment and the lack of communication surrounding it.

After reviewing your case, I would like to clarify that while we strive to adhere to our service protocols and keep our customers informed, in this instance, the situation did not meet the criteria for a $100 fee as outlined in our policy. As a company, we do not apply fees for situations where we fail to meet the scheduled appointment window, and unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding your case do not qualify for a credit.

Please know that we take your concerns seriously, and I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. We will continue to review our procedures to ensure better communication and service moving forward.

If you have further questions or need assistance, please reply to this email or log in to your MySunnova portal and chat with one of our friendly agents. They are available to help you with anything from account inquiries to troubleshooting.

Here’s how to get started:

  1. Visit MySunnova: Go to https://www.sunnova.com/mysunnova.
  2. Sign in: Enter your login credentials.
  3. Start Chat: Look for the chat icon in the lower left of your screen and initiate a conversation.

Our agents are ready to assist you promptly from 7 AM to 7 PM, Monday to Saturday.

Kindly,
Jenifer C.
Customer Service Representative
Sunnova Energy Corporation
Hours of operations are (CST):
Monday – Friday 7:00 AM to 12 midnight
Saturday 7:00 AM to 9:00 PM
Sunday 12:00 PM to 12 midnight


The prior email chain:

RE: System SO0024XXXX
I was scheduled for a repair appointment for 2/5/2025, with the technician scheduled to arrive between 8am and 11am. I was home and available during those hours.
No one came to my home, and I was not contacted about a delay or a cancellation.
In the text message I received confirming my appointment is the following:
“$100 missed visit fee if the tech can’t access the system OR you cancel after 5pm the day before the appt.”

Since Sunnova’s text message says “we reserve the right to charge a $100 missed visit feeโ€ฆ”, I expect you’ll return the favor. I expect a $100 credit on my account for your tech not showing up to the scheduled appointment in the scheduled window (indeed, not showing up or contacting me for the entire day).

Please respond with confirmation that my account has been credited $100, and schedule a repair appointment since the original problem still exists.

Jim Reeves

On Feb 7, 2025, at 6:28โ€ฏPM, Customer Service customerservice@sunnova.com wrote:

๏ปฟ Dear Jim Reeves,

Thank you for contacting Sunnova Energy regarding your appointment.

Please accept my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience that the rescheduling of your visit has caused. Due to protocol issues, we were compelled to change the date. However, I would like to emphasize that the fee will only be applied if the client is not at home when our technician arrives. If you are not present at the time of the technician’s visit, I extend my deepest regrets for the inconvenience. Nevertheless, I would like to underscore that the visit has already occurred.

Should you have further questions or need assistance, please reply to this email or log in to your MySunnova portal and chat with one of our friendly agents. They’re available to help you with anything from account inquiries to troubleshooting.

Here’s how to get started:

  1. Visit MySunnova: Go to https://www.sunnova.com/mysunnova.
  2. Sign in and enter your login credentials.
  3. Start Chat: Look for the chat icon in the lower left of your screen and initiate a conversation.
    Our agents are ready to assist you promptly from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM.

Thank you for choosing Sunnova!
Best regards,
Jorge H.
Sunnova Energy Corporation
Customerservice@sunnova.com

2/7/25

โ€œJorgeโ€,

The problem was not the need to reschedule my appointment due to โ€œprotocol issuesโ€ (whatever that means), my complaint was/is that the text messages confirming the original appointment included notice that my missing the appointment, or cancelling after 5pm the day before, would trigger a $100 fee.
Sunnova technicians did not arrive during the originally specified window, and did not notify me that they would be unable to fulfill their appointment, and especially for not alerting me to that before 5pm the prior day.
Therefore, since it is clearly Sunnova policy that appointments that are missed without notice prior to 5pm the day before are subject to a $100 fine, I expect no less than the same treatment in return.
I expect and demand that Sunnova credit my account $100 for Sunnovaโ€™s failure to arrive during the scheduled appointment window, and for not notifying me before 5pm the day prior.

Jim Reeves
Sent from my iPhone

*********************************************

Here’s the text message I received once sending a confirmation of the appointment they set:

SUNNOVA APPT CONFIRMED for 2/05/2025 between 8:00 AM – 11:00 AM
$100 missed visit fee if the tech can’t access the system OR you cancel after 5PM the day before the appt.
RESCHEDULE/CANCEL via MySunnova appt link OR agent chat.
Reply STOP to opt out of appt texts

*********************************************

So in the final analysis, if the customer screws up and misses the appointment, they’ll charge $100 fee to the customer’s account. If Sunnova screws up and misses the appointment, it’s “oh well, we don’t pay you for our failure”.

EDIT: Addition:

This is not the only problem I’ve had with them, just so you know. They charged an exorbitant amount ($8,400) to remove and then later reinstall the panels to allow a new roof to be installed. They also failed to obtain the proper city permit to do the job, and then took 6 months to “investigate” the issue, all the while charging me for estimated production that my panels did not produce while they sat in my backyard waiting to go back up on the roof. Needless to say, after all that it may be a decade before I see any real financial savings from the system.

If you decide to have solar panels installed on a lease program, or any program where you don’t pay upfront for your own privately held system, be sure you won’t need a new roof during the life of the contract. It won’t pay if you have to remove-reinstall the system. The only benefit now will be in monthly cash-flow, as my electricity bill will decrease by some.

Needless to say, I’m not a happy camper right now.

Did I witness fraud? Maybe yes, maybe no

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Jefferson School, circa 1917, demolished in 1967. Was there fraud involved? I think maybe.

I attended 4th grade at Jefferson School in 1966, maybe 1965. I remember a huge brick building, with cement aprons around the sides and back for basketball and four-square courts, volleyball poles, and assorted other recess activity markings. I don’t really recall much of the interior, other than the auditorium/cafeteria. That is (was) located on the ‘backside’ of the building as we’re looking at it in the above picture.

Now, Jefferson School is Jefferson Park. The cement is long gone, along with the building. This image is taken from about where the event I witnessed took place, which would be along the north side of the building. (the front of the building shown in the picture above faces east)

So, fraud? I don’t know. My memories are those of a 9 year old, seeing something odd over the course of the school day. Those memories are 58 years old, but I believe I’m recalling it pretty well, since it made an impression on me at the time.

Here’s my scenario:

It’s the mid-1960’s, and Visalia is growing. The school, a (presumably) unreinforced brick structure, might be considered unsafe in the event of an earthquake. The 7.5 Tehachapi earthquake of 1952 might have been the driving force of the demolition of the school, but if that’s so, they waited a long time to act. I don’t know if the school suffered any damage during that quake, however.

Here’s what happened, as I remember it.

I was at school, and it was time for the first recess. I went out to the north side playground, and noticed a ladder perched up against the side of the building. There was a tripod of some sort a few feet away.

Noted. Grown-up stuff, only momentarily interesting.

At lunch, the ladder was still there, this time with someone at the top, futzing with the top layer of bricks underneath the eaves of the building. The tripod now had some kind of film camera mounted to it. Adults standing around, doing grown-up things, again only momentarily interesting. There’s the bell, time to get back to class.

Afternoon recess, and the ladder is still there. So is the man at the top of it, still futzing with the bricks. This time it’s different, though. He comes down, and they set up the film camera.

Now here’s where I think the fraud comes in.

During the recess, and I think the timing was just a coincidence, they started filming. The man climbs the ladder, takes a chisel and a hammer, and begins beating on the bricks under the eaves. The brick comes out with little effort. The man removes it, holds it out so the camera can see it, then climbs down.

End of recess, the bell rings, and we go running back to class. (we’re 9 and 10 year olds. We still run to class)

So.

They took most of the day to work that brick loose, then filmed a man climbing the ladder, hitting it a few times with a hammer and chisel, and then pulling the brick out. I think someone may have wanted that building to seem much more dangerous than it might truly have been.

Anyone know where those bricks ended up? Brick fireplaces were pretty common in home construction back then, and that school would have made a lot of them.

It might have been a perfectly innocent thing. I was only 9 years old, after all, and not at all cognizant of grown-up things. But I’ve always had this memory, and there’s little chance I will ever know what really happened.

So, I wonder.

A mystery, a hunt, then success!

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On September 8, I wrote about the City of Visalia and it’s Charter. I noticed in one section it said (Deleted November 4, 1974). No mention of what that section was, or why it was “deleted”.

Under Article XVI, Section 21 said simply “(Deleted November 4, 1974)”

Well, I needed to know what that was all about.

I cogitated about it for a while. A mystery that kept bugging me, begging to be solved. Last Monday I decided to track down the truth, if possible. Looking online hadn’t turned up the missing section, and it had been 50 years since the change was made. The local newspaper doesn’t have online access for historical stuff, and while I had the date of the vote taken to approve changes to the Charter, I didn’t know when the City Council had acted to put the measure on the ballot. That could have been almost any time in 1974, to have time to get it on the mid-term election ballot in November. I really didn’t want to sit in front of the micro-fiche reader at the library, scrolling through the newspapers for every day that year! (Are micro-fiche readers and their films still a thing?)

The hunt had to be done the old-fashioned way – sleuthing in person.

I headed down to the library to see if they had a copy of the original charter, but they were closed for Indigenous People’s Day (It might be called something else, too, but never mind that…)

Next stop – The City Clerk’s office. I was surprised to find the offices open, since it was that holiday. I also expected it might take a while to find that for which I was looking. I was afraid that the relevant documents would be in that warehouse where the US Government stuck the Ark of the Covenant, as seen in one of the Indiana Jones’ movies, or in Warehouse 13. The City Clerk thought it might take some digging, too. The Assistant City Manager came by as we were discussing the Charter, and since he’s new to the city as well, he didn’t know anything about the change. The Clerk took my info, and told me she would research it. I expected I might hear something back in a week or so, if I was lucky. Surprise, surprise, they found and emailed me the original text before I even got home! Talk about service!

The original Charter contained the following:

Article XVI. Miscellaneous Provisions:

Section 21.

Neither the City Manager nor any person in the employ of the City shall take any active part in securing, or shall contribute money toward the nomination or election of any candidate for a municipal office.

Seems in 1974 the City decided to do a bit of tweaking to the Charter, and since the only way it can be changed is a vote of the people, it was on the ballot in November 1974. The above section was deleted. (I’m assuming it was due to infringing on people’s rights to support the candidate of their choice, even though they were city employees.) Some other wording was added, looks like to clarify some minor things that had changed in the previous 50 years.

It’s been 50 years since that update, and I think it’s time to do another refresh.

I noticed references to the City Manager (and other offices as well) as “he” or “his” throughout the Charter. We don’t have a “he/him” City Manager now, so time to change the masculine pronouns to gender-neutral.

(the fact that changing masculine pronouns in city documents will undoubtedly raise the blood pressure of those who see such things as “woke liberalism” is a bonus in my book!)

Thank you to the new City Clerk, Jennifer Gomez, for digging this up for me!

Mystery solved!

(even if it was a bit anti-climatic. I was hoping for some good, scandalous dirt! oh well…)

Constitution of the City of Visalia AKA The Charter

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The United States has a Constitution.
The State of California has a Constitution.
Did you know the City of Visalia has a Constitution?
It does. Although it’s called a “Charter”.
I read it last night. Not particularly thrilling reading, but interesting.
(again, interesting to me. Your mileage, as always, may vary)
It was approved by Visalia voters in January 1923, and ratified by the California State Legislature on February 26, 1923.
Fifteen people ran for the first City Council to operate under the new Charter, in April, 1923, and five were selected by 1,326 votes.
Recently, I commented here about someone speaking at a City Council meeting, and her not being aware of how the office of Mayor worked in Visalia.
Here’s the scoop directly from the City Charter:
Article VI
Legislative. The Council. Powers and Duties
Section 5. Certain Powers and Duties Enumerated: The Council shall–
(4) Choose one of its members as presiding officer, to be called Mayor. The Mayor shall preside over the sessions of the Council, shall sign official documents when the signature of the Council or Mayor is required by law, and he shall act as the official head of the City on public and ceremonial occasions. He shall have power to administer oaths and affirmations. When the Mayor is absent from any meeting of the Council, the members of the Council may choose another member to act as Vice Mayor, and he shall for the time being, have the powers of the Mayor.

The City Manager, as outlined in Article 8, actually runs the day-to-day operation of the City.
Another curiosity: Article 16, Section 21. It says (Deleted November 4, 1974). No amendment seen on the website, so now I wonder what Section 21 was. (Maybe it’s our own Area 51! Wouldn’t that be cool!)
Some odd wording in some places, and all the pronouns are male.
Some updating might be in order, but that would take a vote of the people, and I’m not sure anyone in the city is eager to take on that challenge.
Rabbit holes. Deep ones.
โ€œOh my ears and whiskers, how late itโ€™s getting!โ€
Wanna read the Charter for yourself? You can find it here: https://www.visalia.city/civicax/filebank/blobdload.aspx?blobid=4024

Run, Forrest, Run!

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It’s said that if you want to change the way your local government operates, run for office. Most of us prefer to kvetch from the sidelines, so kudos to anyone willing to jump up and try to make things better by holding office. Keyboard warriors, and I don’t exclude myself from that designation, can burn up the interwebs with criticisms of this that or the other if we take a disfavorable view of something, filling up our timelines on Facebook and Instagram (am I aging myself with only listing those two?). It’s easy and quick. Tappity tap tap, click on ‘send’, and it’s done. “Oh, did I say that a week ago? I don’t even remember what I was on about!”

It’s a big step to run for city council. It’s often a thankless job, and will get you chastised, sometimes politely, but sometimes not, for things that are often not within your power to change. It comes with the territory. The old adage “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen” really applies to local government. And, while I’m at it, since you asked for the job, you really shouldn’t chastise the public for being on about whatever they’re on about right now. A couple of city councilmen got called out recently for their perceived poor behavior while on the dais during public comments. Much of what was directed at the council was valid. I hope those it was directed at take it to heart, and behave a bit more respectfully in the future.

Anyway, I said all that to talk about the following:

If you’re going to run for public office, don’t be like Trump was/is, and not have a clue about the job.

Recently, I was speaking with a candidate for one of the seats up for election this cycle here in Visalia. His talking points were not accurate.

He was complaining about the city council raising taxes, specifically property taxes, and utility fees. When I asked about it, he was certain in his position that the city council was raising taxes. I was a bit confused, because I could not recall any taxes on my property tax bills that could be layed at the feet of the Visalia City Council. When I followed up with him about what taxes he was talking about, I did not get a real explanation.

I asked him about utility fees, sewer and trash, he said they have been climbing, as well. Again, I could not recall any hikes on my bills, so I asked him for clarification. He basically backed down a bit and said he was going on what his father told him, because he lived on property owned by his parents.

Well, that conversation was not very enlightening, and frankly, based on conversations I’ve either briefly had with him, or on comments he’s made during public commentary sections of City Council meetings, and things he’s posted online, I was left wondering what the facts were.

So I grabbed my property tax bills for the past five years, and had a look.

At the top of the list, the county’s 1% tax on net value led the way. After that, various other taxes were listed:

Visalia Unified School District for a bond in 2012

Kaweah Delta water district

Kaweah Delta hospital

College of the Sequoias

Visalia Unified School District for a bond in 2018

Delta Mosquito control

Hmmmm. Nothing about the City of Visalia listed for any of the five years.

In those five years, my County property tax bill has increased by $105.12. That increase has been driven solely by the Proposition 13 limited increase in my home’s value.

Now, the sewer and trash bill might have gone up a few dollars over the years, but it seems to me it’s been pretty stable. I’ve not noticed any changes of more than a few dollars, which really is to be expected. Other fees and costs that city might impose for various services are not what the conversation was about, so I’m not going to comment on whether it’s valid to include them.

So, what’s that all mean? By all means run for office if you want to serve, and/or make a change. But do some research first, and make your run with something that will improve the community.

I’m not in this person’s district, so I wouldn’t be able to vote for or against him regardless, but after each interaction with him, I’m more certain he’s not a better fit than the person already serving in that seat.

Remember to vote, and to check you voter registration status soon!

The end of an era

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I’ve exclusively owned Fords since 1985. That ended today. What have I done??

Here’s a look back at 39 years of Fords!

(Not my actual car, but the same model and color)

A 1985 1/2 Ford Escort. I put well over 100,000 miles on this car. A 5 speed, 4 cylinder that I drove to Canada and all over Central California, it was the first new car I ever purchased.


In 1992 I bought my Ranger XLT, and have put over 160,000 miles on it. The Ranger has taken me to Seattle, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. This was the second vehicle I bought new. (and I’ve still got it – I don’t expect to ever sell it)


In 2007 I bought this 2005 Taurus SEL at the Fresno Car Max. It had 8,700 miles on it. It was previously owned by a Ford dealership in a smaller Central Valley town, and must have been a loaner or used to give folks rides to and from the lot. What ever they did with it, they didn’t put very many miles on it. I fixed that, running to odometer up to about 110,000 miles. This one went as far east as Columbus, Ohio.


In 2020, I went back to Car Max, and bought the Blue_Heretic, a 2019 Ford Fusion SE with “Eco-Boost”. Another low-milage car, it was one year old with 2,600 miles on the odometer. This car has been the one I liked the most of all the cars I’ve owned, and it’s with mixed emotions that I traded it in on my new Honda. Good-bye, Heretic, and thanks for all the (only 35,000) miles!


So now I jump into both the Honda and the hybrid worlds.

My first “foreign” car, a 2024 Honda Accord Hybrid EX-L. Rolling along on the electric motor is taking a bit of getting used to! (but I love it! It’s so quiet)

Trying to come up with a name in the vein of my previous car’s ‘Blue_Heretic’. So far, nothing has presented itself. I’m sure I’ll think of something.

RIP, VTD

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Well, itโ€™s finally happened.
My first relationship with theย Visalia Times-Deltaย was as a paperboy in the 1970โ€™s. My route at the time was the largest in the city, which had a population of less than 50,000 back then. I wish I could say that having a paper route taught me how to handle money, but sadly it did not. But that, perhaps, is a story for another blog.
As an adult, Iโ€™ve read the paper frequently if not daily, written many letters to the editor, had a couple of my community blog posts appear in the printed edition (Hate in a small townย โ€“ 9-22/23-2013, andย Itโ€™s not easy to make SPLCโ€™s hate list โ€“ 5-15-2015), and even had them request I write a column (Connecting LGBT community and government โ€“ 7-16/17-2016) that appeared in print. They even paid me for that last one.
But that was then, this is now.
Sitting at the computer today, I realized it had been months since I logged into my account at VTD, one I pay for monthly.
I went to the page, logged in, and found the weekend edition online. (I stopped the paper edition a couple of years ago, keeping only the online subscription)
There were exactly two items in the entire paper related to Visalia.
One obituary, and the weather. No other local news. At all. Not even any local sports.
For some time now, the VTD has been fading. Itโ€™s a shadow of itโ€™s former self. A shadow on a heavily overcast day. Almost not there.
I cancelled my subscription right then.
Iโ€™ve found that theย Sun-Gazetteย and theย Valley Voiceย newspapers have better local coverage than the Times-Delta, and have for some time. I also subscribe to theย Fresno Beeโ€˜s online presence.
The Visalia Times Delta has (for some time now) become simply another version of USA TODAY.
RIP VTD

Pride Visalia 2023

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Me, Executive Director Brian Poth, and Kou

October 14, 2023 was Pride Visalia 2023. Another great year for Pride, with the usual large turnout at Valley Strong Stadium (AKA Rawhide Stadium, AKA Oaks Ballpark, AKA Recreation Park baseball stadium). Here are a few pictures of my time at Pride. See more at http://www.pridevisalia.org

That’s Mariachi Arcoiris, the world’s first and only LGBT mariachi band!

Me, Kou, and David stand in remembrance of Ed Steck and “Free Dad Hugs”.

Reyes, me, and Kou. You’ll always run into friends and family at Pride Visalia!

Check out my Facebook photo album of the event, here.

See you next year!

I’ve figured out who turned me gay…

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The right-wing loons have for a while now been going ballistic about drag queens “grooming” children. They claim that children will be ‘seduced’ (or something) into the LGBTQ lifestyle if they have a “man in a dress” read stories to them. It always seemed like nonsense to me, but I’ve been thinking recently about an event in my life when I was about 5 years old that may hold the key to my homosexuality. It all dates back to a home-made soft drink.

It is, apparently, very easy to turn someone gay. A rainbow flag, a drag queen reading a children’s story, gay characters on television. Franklin Graham thinks inviting gay children into your home won’t turn them straight, but will turn your kids gay.

Graham said, “I was talking to some Christians and they were talking about how they invited these gay children to come into their home and to come to church and that they were wanting to influence them.

“And I thought to myself, they’re not going to influence those kids, those kids are going to influence those parent’s children.”

The power of “the gay” is so much greater than the allegedly default heterosexual orientation.

This explains why I’m gay.

My parents were both straight. My sisters are straight. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, and most (if not all) of my teachers were straight. I don’t recall seeing homosexuals on television or in the movies unless they were depicted as criminal, insane, predatory, molesters, or suicidal. Certainly nothing in the general media I ever saw was positive. So how did I end up gay?

Well, I think I may have been slipped a gay mickey when I was five.

One evening my parents took me and my younger sister with them to visit a friend of theirs. I remember being uneasy at his house, uncomfortable around him. Now this could just have been my natural shyness, but I’ve always had this memory of that man being somewhat effeminate. I could be mis-remembering that, however. (It was sixty years ago, after all!)

This gentleman had a bar set up in his home. (a popular thing in the 60’s was to have a small bar in the den or family room) He mixed up some drinks for my parents, and offered to make me one. I was not comfortable with the idea. In my 5 year old mind it seemed strange that a grown-up would be offering to mix me up a drink. I didn’t say anything, but my parents said it was OK.

He grabbed a glass, and began mixing up a drink, handing it to me when he was done. My parents told me to go ahead and drink it. I took a cautious sip, and was very surprised. “It’s a Pepsi!” I exclaimed. The adults laughed at me a bit, not in a mean way, and I continued to drink my soda.

Well, that must have been it. Along with the caramel coloring, flavoring, and soda water, he must have slipped the “gay mickey” in there as well. It’s obviously tasteless, because even at 5 years old I was very discerning in my soda consumption.

Acknowledging gay kids in school or church, having drag queens read children stories, and flying the rainbow flag “grooms” kids to be gay. I suppose the mickies aren’t needed any more, since those things are so much more powerful than “normal” orientation.

So here’s to being ‘seduced’ into gayness by a spiked soft drink. It only took another thirty years to come into full effect.

Disclaimer: I do NOT really believe I was turned gay by a spiked soda. There’s no such thing. Drag queens don’t “groom” kids, gay kids can’t turn other kids gay, and a rainbow flag can’t flap the gayness right into someone.

What I do believe is that the right-wing loons are simply haters who will do or say anything to disseminate their hatred of the LGBTQ community. Well, as the old saying goes, “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!”

Anyone want a soda? I’ve got this great recipe. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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