deleteBoy, do I get emails! I’ve managed to end up on just about every candidate’s begging list, and it seems to be getting worse every day.

Now, I don’t mind the emails, they’re easy enough to delete. I find the ones from Devin Nunes and Donald Trump endlessly entertaining. I have noticed a theme, though, from all sides, that I find annoying.

They’re all “falling short of their fundraising goal this week (or month)”, and need my immediate donation to reach it. It’s important, they’ll say, that they show how strong the support for their campaign is (I’m assuming they mean for the big, high-dollar donors, the ones they never mention by name).

They’ll go on about how important it is that they reach their goal, so they don’t fall behind in their battle to save the country.

Here’s an idea, folks. Set more realistic goals, if you’re never reaching them. I know you want to give the impression of being the underdog, that you’re the come-from-behind-anti-establishment-only-hope-for-all-mankind who will win in the end… but geez!

Let me give you some free advice.

Don’t run with this “we’re behind” theme in your ads. You’re claiming you’re a loser. Start setting lower goals, and then blow past them! Tell your supporters you’re gaining support across the country. Let them join the bandwagon of a winner! Everybody loves the underdog who comes from behind to win at the last moment, but you can’t *all* be the underdog.

Other email annoyances from the political mob:

Kamala, I *really* don’t need three or four emails *every* single day!

Devin, this “it’s me against the deep state” crap is getting old. Nobody but a few hard-core Republicans really believes it. Also, hold some real town halls in your district. The only places you show your face these days is “pay-for-play” fundraisers, usually in some distant district! Locking the doors to your offices is a clear sign of what you think about your constituents.

Donald, you and Donny Jr. can quite lying to me in every other email.  I am 99.99999999% sure neither of you has noticed my name is not on your contributor’s list. If you have, how about sending me a short video of you in the Oval saying “why hasn’t Jim Reeves donated yet?” You have my email address.

So I scan the emails, and hit “delete”. The bits and bytes are recycled, to live again in some other form. Probably another email begging for money.