I don’t waste my time singing in the shower. They say everyone sounds good in there, at least to themselves, but that’s not true. I learned a long time ago not to lie to myself about that. Instead, my mind tends to wander. Today, it ruminated on Star Trek, fake Star Trek, and the Star Spangled Banner.

We’ll start with Star Trek.

Since J.J.Abrams began helming the starship Enterprise with his new movies, things have not gone well. While the movies are certainly watchable, enjoyable, and entertaining, they’re not Star Trek. Sorry, J.J., they’re just not. I’m hoping the next movie brings us back to the real thing, but I’m not holding my breath.

Star Trek Discovery has followed the same path as the movies. It’s like they’re using the words from Star Trek, without having any understanding of them. The Federation. Warp drive. Klingons. Phasers. Sarek. Vulcans.

Now, I really like that Discovery has taken the leap, following the almost-gay scene from the last movie where we get the split second shot of Sulu with his husband, and introduced a gay couple on the show.


Having gay men portray gay characters, and having them as regular members of the crew, as opposed to expendable red-shirts, is a great step. Casting Wilson Cruz and Anthony Rapp was a stroke of genius. I just wish that genius had extended to the entire show.

Spore drive? WTF is that? You have an existing universe to play in, and since you’re joining it “already in progress”, you have to be careful what you do. And what the hell is that spinning saucer section all about? It’s idiotic, that’s what. Stop it, Star Trek, you’re better than that.

The Klingons. WTF #2.

Black Alert? WTF #3.

So what does this have to do with the Star Spangled Banner?

Too many singers selected to sing the National Anthem decide to go their own way, and sing it weirdly. Change it up. Alter the cadence, the tone, the style. They’re singing the Star Spangled Banner, but it’s not the National Anthem.

That’s what has happened to Star Trek. They know the words, and something in the general vicinity of the tune, but it’s not Star Trek.

Like the weird manifestations of the Star Spangled Banner, we just have to grit our teeth, sit there, and see what comes out. I’m enjoying Star Trek Discovery, on it’s own terms, but I have to take my suspension of disbelief and park it in an alternate universe, where the words are the same, but the expression is so very different.

I’m veering very close to deciding The Orville does Star Trek better than Discovery.

Who knows down which rabbit hole tomorrow’s shower will take me?