Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names:
You’re supposed to be the IT person, so fix the damned computers!

Can you take a bra off with one hand?
LOL…  never tried. Is it difficult?

Last furry thing you touched:
A german shepard. A big one. Thank goodness she’s friendly.

Spell your name without vowels:
Jmm Rvs

Do you wanna get married anytime soon?
No, I’m too young to get married.

Have you ever kissed someone in a band?
He used to be in a band, does that count?

When you looked in the mirror today, what was your first thought?
Who is that old man, and where is he hiding me?

Would you raise your children like your parents raised you?
Some things I would, but things have changed a lot in the world, and I’m a different person than they were.

Have you ever been caught dancing like a fool?
Anybody who dances with me is a fool.  But we’ve not been caught, so far.  Last year in Vegas remains in Vegas.

What kind of drunk are you?
Non-sequiter. Your facts are uncoordinated.

Why do guys act jerks around the person they have a crush on?
This is a rather sexist question.  And from careful observation of straight women, it’s because they only respond to the jerks, despite always complaining that there aren’t any good men.  That’s OK, though. It just leaves the good ones for me. I just have to get them to come over to the dark side.

If you woke up to a shark in your bath tub, what would you do?
Go back to sleep, since this is obviously some strange dream.  No more pb/j sandwiches right before bed!

If women ruled the world would there be more peace?
Are you kidding?  Have you ever seen women fight?  The first time they started a war, it would be the end of the world!  Nuclear armed women would be the end of humanity. “OH NO SHE DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT!!!” Red button pushed… boom!

What’s your favorite zoo animal?
Lions, and tigers, and bears. Oh my.

Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?
Nope.  There’s a project for someone.

Do you have a significant other?
Yes.  He’s very significant.

Do you have big dreams for your life?
Not really.  It’s always interesting to see what’s going to happen next.  The last few years have been interesting, the next few should be, too.

Are you donating your organs?
Not until I don’t need them anymore.  I’m kinda selfish that way.

Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?
I don’t recall that.  My memory is not clear on that incident.

Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth?
Oh, hell no.  I didn’t even curse in their presence till I was almost 30!

Have you ever told a girl/boyfriend you loved them but didn’t mean it?
No.  I have the opposite problem.  I wait too long to say it.  Getting better about it, though.

When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
1991 or thereabouts.  School bully.  I resisted.  He’s dead now.  I still didn’t do it.

Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?
Yes.  Helping people.

What does your middle name mean?
“He will add”  that does not refer to math, I’m pretty sure.

What was the last fruit you ate?

Are you currently wearing socks?

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
The nuts at work.  We’re really being a bad example to the trainees.

Will you be over 21 in 3 years?
LOL  I’ve been over 21 for 31 years!

Who ended your last relationship?
He did.

Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you?
No.  Wait… define “dated”.

How much did you spend the last time you bought something?

Were you in a relationship this time 2 years ago?

If you could know one thing about your future, what would it be?
Do they make it back to Earth? Does Eli get the girl?  Is Scott secretly gay?

Who was the last person you spent more than 15 minutes on the phone with?

How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled, or fried in a sandwich with mustard.

Have you been swimming in the last six months?
Yes.  Last summer.  Sanger, QueerNetworks pool party.

How often do you read the newspaper?
Every weekday.  Three of them.  Visalia Times Delta, Fresno Bee, Los Angeles Times.

Have you ever known someone who died on your birthday?
No. That would just be rude. Don’t anybody do that.

You just caught your bf/gf kissing someone of the same sex. Reaction?
Are you going to share??

What are the last three letters of your last name?

You found out you have to put down your pet. Are you crying about it?
Been there, done that.

Do you know someone with the same birthday as you?
I don’t know her, but Sophia Loren is one.

Your bed is missing. Where’d it go?
Aliens beamed it up.  They love waterbeds, too.

Table for eight and you’re cooking. What’s for dinner?
Steaks, french bread, salad, corn, baked potato, desert.

The last person you hugged admits to liking you. What is your response?
I already knew that.  I like him back.

Reach your right arm out. What do you touch?
Computer rack unit.

Are you wearing a hat right now?

Who was the last person you high-fived?
One of the guys at the bowling ally.  Rainbowlers.

How do you make money?
I tell cops where to go.

Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on? ‘
W-T-F? That would be a peanut butter butter and jelly sandwich. A bit redundant.

Is anyone in your family blind?
Not visually, no.

If you could transform into something, What would that something be?
Brad Pitt

Opinion on heroin?
Stupid is as stupid does.

You’re opening up a restaurant. What do you call it?

What are your plans for tomorrow afternoon?
None.  I’ll let the universe decide for me.

Kiss me?
Probably not.  Luis doesn’t share.

If you woke up to a dolphin in your bath tub, what would you do?
Ask him what the hell is he doing in my bathtub, and what is that gawd-awful smell?

Do you smoke in your car?
Smoking is not allowed. Period. End of story.

What is something you need to do within the next two hours?

You have to write a story for english, due tomorrow. What do you write?
Some witty and humorous remarks on my deep understanding of the human condition. Or a bad Star Trek story.

How do you think everyone will act when 2013 comes and the world’s fine?
Like they never believed anything would happen to begin with.  Just like they’ve done a million times before.

Do you watch the Spike Video Game Awards?
The what?

What kind of kid were you when you were seven?
Skinny. Shy. Curious.

Do you always eat those mints you get at some restaurants?

Do you read the CD liner notes?
CD’s have liner notes?

Is there a subject you know so much about that you’d be able to teach it?
Everything.  I’m a font of spectacular proportions.  Just ask me.

Where did you purchase the computer you’re using right now?
I ordered it through Ted’s computer business.

If you could shapeshift into anybody, who would it be and why?
Brad Pitt. And if you have to ask why, then you wouldn’t understand.

Do you think it’s fair to compare Family Guy to The Simpsons?
Why would you? Wouldn’t that be like comparing the Jetson’s to Ren and Stimpy?

Will you miss CDs if they end up going obsolete? Why or why not?
Yeah, just like I miss 8 tracks.

If you got the chance to go to Fantasy Island, what would your fantasy be?
To fly to the ISS.

Can you tell the difference between a bluebird and a blue jay without pics?
Well of course.  One’s a bird, and one’s a jay. Simple.

Do you tend to feel sorry for the villain of a story/TV show/movie/etc.?
Like Darth Vader?  He went bad because he couldn’t save his mother? Like that?

What was your favourite Christmas movie as a child?
Miracle on 34th Street

Would you ever date someone who had an STD, if they were honest and safe?

Are you an oldest, youngest, middle or only child?

If you could relive one hour of your life so far, what would you choose?
That particular hour is classified.  Sorry.

Do you think animals have a sense of humor?
Cats certainly do.  Dogs, probably too.  Just look at what they put up with.

If you could go back in time to another decade, which one would you choose?
The sixties.

Are you proud of your hometown, or do you try to distance yourself from it?
It’s a good town.  There are plenty a lot worse, and closeby.

Ok, end of this survey.  Blame them on my nieces, I usually see them as a result of their taking and posting them.