illuminatiBoy, they come right out of the blue!

And via Facebook Messenger, no less.

Yeah, I’ve been recruited. By the Illuminati. Yes, THAT Illuminati!

Yesterday a person friended me on Facebook, then began immediately chatting with me on Messenger.  My recruiter’s comments are in italics, my remarks in bold. Here’s how the conversation went:

Greetings Mr Jim
Thanks for the friendship
How are you doing?
Hi. Taking it easy today. How are you?
Ok I’m pretty good today by the way can’t complain about
I’m from the DC
What about your self?
I’m in central California
Okay good MY pleasure meeting with you today
I like meeting with new friends around the world so how is your work going
Friday night, so it’ll be a bit busy, and probably short staffed again. So, pretty much normal.
Ok very well. My pleasure. But do you know about the illuminati organization?
Only what I’ve seen in the movies. 

Oh okay The Illuminati is an elite organization of world leaders, business authorities, innovators, artists, and other influential members of this planet. Our coalition unites influencers of all political, religious, and geographical backgrounds to further the prosperity of the human species as a whole.
Pretty heady group.
Yea Many people dream to be a leader, some have predispositions, but very few have the ability and the competence to fulfill this heavy responsibility. Brother, I think you dream of becoming a leader, a successful Lion. Let yourself be guided by the Light??you are already on the road that leads to thought leadership. Become an excellent leader is a daily and lifelong learning. Be prepared to lead when times are hard, when your people look to you for directions.
According to John C. Maxwell: “A leader has been defined as one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way”. Are you prepared? If you hope to lead, you must first find the path before others can follow your directions.
Remember that, being on the road, Humility, wisdom, loyalty and respect are needed.
Indeed. All true.
The Illuminati’s purpose is to secure the ongoing survival of the human species.
With gentle guidance from our organization, the human species is allowed to function in their natural order while playing the part of gears in a machine for the betterment of the world.
You know power in abundant will be given to anyone who submitte him self to the light of the illuminati and to those who believe in the power of success
Sounds interesting. How long have you been involved with them?
Joining the Illuminati brings you into the limelight of the world turning your life around for better and get to the highest level All Illuminati members share love and humility so a problem to one is a problem to all. This means all your problems both materially and financially will be brought to an end you shall be offered wisdom, knowledge, and powers. Power without wisdom will fade away. You shall be offered help in every lacking area of your life you shall have Powers of Powers as long as you be part of our lodge members of order lodge can gain more knowledge and power in our lodge that can make them more powerful than at first and make them more wealthier as long as the exercise patience an trust in the brotherhood Illuminati are you a musician, politician,journalist,business man,and all other come and seek for the light I will like you to join our organization and let’s make the world a better place for humanity where everyone in all places can live a comfortable life.
I’ve been a member since 2010.
And The organization has provided help and shield to me and my family by providing success to anything and promotions
Well that’s interesting.
Yea so are you interested?
I might be. I’d have to know more first. The Illuminati have both good and bad reputations.
Believe in yourself..and we shall believe in you,
you shall be reborn and see life in new dimension


1* You must be able to keep the secret to your self

2* You must have strong belief of Success

3* You must be over the age of 20 to make your own decision

4* You must be able to remain faithful and loyal to the brotherhood(Strictly)

5* You must be able to wear a black shirt/t-shirt/vest not less than 3 times a week

6* You must believe that money is power

7* You must be aware that your name must sound in the list of Celebrities and super-rich people

8* All men and women are welcome to join this Temple of Only Success, Respect and Super Rich

9* you must be loyal and follow instructions

10* You must have a belief in the changing/modern world of doing Things.

11* share no secret with anyone,not even your wife or mother, because we are watching..don’t look for what you can’t see

As a member,you have your right to freedom,
We can offer you,wealth,high position in any area of your life either  workplace or in politics
We can offer you long life,you will forever be happy,you will be protected by the great Baphomet..
We can offer you a lifestyle that you have been wanting to have,just like those whom You already hear about on the news and everywhere.
You will have money,fame,power,and you will be happy for all the days of  your life,
You will be problem free,no more worries
You must know that After two weeks of joining the illumnati you life is going to take a new shape
So why was I selected?
and who or what is Baphomet?
To begin with,there is a higher power which ensures a universal balance.
You have a great calling and role to play in the advancement and betterment of the human species and the universe as a whole.
You might simply want to know how important your role is in the betterment and advancement of mankind.
but it’s best known by the grand masters or those in higher power in the organization.
And there are things which can not be exposed to non members
Which means you have a great call of leadership and greatness which will be revealed to you only if you are a member.
So what do I have to do to become a member?
Nowl contact secret agent Bruce on whatsaap he will direct you +136034******* 
Ok, thanks
You are welcome remember it should be only on whatsaap and keep me posted with everything I need to know ok

I’m a little suspicious, though. First of all, through Facebook Messenger? Not real convincing! Then, when he said he was “from the DC”, I thought “that’s an odd way to put it”. His Facebook profile says he’s in Los Angeles. A phone number listed there has a country code from the Philippines.

I think I’ve already blown #1 above, though.

#5 seems odd… a dress code for a secret society? That kind of gives it away, no?

#9’s a bit shady.

#11 is a repeat of #1, with the added kicker that you *really* can’t tell Mom. Or your wife. I wonder if the Masons are like this?

And I don’t know…  I’m not sure I’d want to be part of a secret society that would have me as a member! 😉

But maybe… who knows? Oh, and just in case they take the secrecy all serious and such… if I suddenly keel over and croak, you’ll know what happened! Demand an autopsy!