star-trek-into-darkness-enterpriseI just got home from seeing the latest Star Trek movie, Star Trek Into Darkness.  I don’t know where to begin on this one, it’s all over the place.

It’s a huge, bright, fast, funny, dramatic, incredibly well done technical marvel of a movie.  There were some incredibly unbelievable ball-drops as well, however!  Some things where I get the feeling somebody high-up decided they didn’t have to solve that problem, or have things make sense, because 80% of the audience they’re shooting for wouldn’t know the difference anyway!

I watched it in 3D, and it was very impressive.  The depth and realism had me at points startling at things suddenly in my face.  The more than 2 hours flew by, and I’ll be going to see it again.

If you haven’t seen it yet, and [SPOILERS!] want to avoid knowing plot points in advance [SPOILERS!], stop here, and go see the movie.  Then come back later and tell me what you thought of it.

First off, those hats aren’t StarFleet.  I’m sorry, they’re just not.  I do like the grey dress uniform jacket, but the hats have to go.

Kirk puts a new twist on “getting some tail”!  From the credits, I think the actresses are sisters.

Leonard Nimoy makes another cameo.  It works.  (and probably pisses William Shatner off to no end.)

Really, Budweiser?  If you were going with product placement, why not just go ahead and set the bottle out in the clear, rather than partially hiding it behind something?

The Enterprise is clearly a TARDIS.  It’s the only way the inside would fit within the outside.  Those huge tanks, with the walkways, the brig area, and the engine room…  sorry, J.J., your Enterprise ain’t that big!  And what’s with that big empty space in the middle of the ship?  Just so we can have them dangling from the catwalks?  Hanging on for dear life above a hull breach would have been more reasonable.  It’s a bit like that scene in ST5, where our intrepid heros zoom up through the turbolift shaft from the bottom to deck 78.  All in a Starship with only about 21 decks.  We notice things like that, Paramount.

And that warp core…  really?  This is one of those “it doesn’t matter, almost nobody will know” things, isn’t it?  How tough can a ship be, if kicking the core will push the doohicky back into alignment, restoring power?  Way too many gizmos and conduits hanging around to be very reliable in case of, oh, I don’t know… black holes or massive damage inflicted by other starships, or something.  Especially when you’ve blasted huge holes throughout the ship, and exposed half the thing to space.  Scotty’s a miracle worker, I know, but come on!

Didn’t we see that death seen in STTWoK?  Even to the hands on the glass?

Sorry, don’t buy Spock’s tears.  Or his anguished KKHHHAAAAANNNNNN!

Oh, yeah.  [SPOILER!] The bad guy is Khan.  Really?  Benedict Cumberbatch is supposed to be Khan Noonian Singh?  Cumberbatch played a great villain, he pretty much stole the movie, but he can’t pull off the ethnic that is supposed to have produced Khan.  The name “Singh” should have been a clue. (not that he tried.  They simply didn’t go there at all.  He’s just a plain old white guy, with an interesting British accent)  J.J., what are we going to do with you?

If you kill off a major character in Star Trek, you’re supposed to at least wait until the next movie to bring him back.

The tributes to the past movies and series, in lines and odd bits and pieces, felt a bit forced in places.  Like “KKKHHHAAAAANNNNN!!!”  Tribbles are always cute, however.  Even a dead one.  So far, I feel that Karl Urban has best captured the flavor of his character, Dr. McCoy.  He still needs some practice, at moments it seemed a bit out of sync.  Pine is improving in his portrayal of Kirk and may end up being the closest to our imagined hero than even Shatner ever got.   He’s pretty hot without his shirt on, too.  They can continue that Kirkism for as long as they like, as far as I’m concerned.  Quinto does do well as Spock, but there’s room for growth for both those characters.

Somebody suggested making Sulu a gay character in the next movie.  I think that would be a great idea.  George Takei could play his grandfather in a cameo.  Star Trek needs a out gay character.  If Kirk can (literally) get some pussy, Sulu (or even Chekov!) should be able to get some cock!

Overall, a great movie, despite some glaring clinkers.  Non-Star Trek fans will enjoy a good space shoot-em-up, and there area a couple of gratuitous scenes for both the guys and the gals to enjoy.  Fans of the franchise will have to overlook the glitches and gaffes to things already established as part of the ST universe, but they too can enjoy the movie.  (yes, I know… altered timeline.  But we’re supposedly still in the same universe, so some of the inconsistencies are a bit jarring to the deeply initiated.)

For non-Trekkers, a solid 4 stars.  An action packed, visually stunning movie, that keeps you on the edge of your seat.  3D adds to the effect, without getting in the way.

For Trekkers, 3 stars.  A derivative story, with scenes that try to pay homage to STII:TWoK, but come off as a bit hokey.  The bond between Kirk and Spock, and to a lesser extent McCoy is growing, but is not to the point where Spock would cry about…  well, no spoiler there, OK?

This Federation is a lot different than Gene Roddenberry’s Federation.  I’m not sure he’d care for the present Star Trek.  He wanted to portray humanity as getting past old evils, and as we’ve gotten further from his direct influence on the franchise, the farther we’ve gotten away from the wonderful future of humanity he dreamed of in the 23rd century, to a darker reflection of our 21st.