Not them, but close

I’ve been hoping to meet a couple of cute missionary boys for a while,  when I would be both awake and have the time to talk with them for a bit.  Usually they wake me up, or catch me as I’m heading out the door, and I can’t chat with them.  Tonight the stars were aligned just right!

I was tinkering around with my iPhone, playing with the GPS/mapping software, and was standing at the curb at the corner of my property.  The map program that comes with the iPhone was showing me standing right at the edge of my property line, exactly where I was actually standing!  I had always assumed there would be a noticeable error when zoomed down to street level, but danged if it didn’t have me exactly where I was!  I walked back to the back of the property, and the same thing occurred.  The map’s little blue dot was smack on the property line.  I’m impressed.  I  walked back out to the street to check against the satellite map, and was tinkering with it when two white-shirted Mormon boys rode up on their bikes.

Have you seen the movie, Latter Days? Good movie, cute guys.  “My” boys, while not movie star quality, were both good looking, healthy young men.  They were riding up the street as I was tinkering with the phone, and of course they took the opportunity to stop and “spread the word”.  One took the lead in the conversation, and during the entire time I was speaking to them, I wondered if he was the more outgoing one of the duo, or if they took turns ‘chatting up’ the people they contact.  At any rate, he led the conversation, asking first about the phone, since I was obviously not making a call.  I told them a bit about the mapping program and how impressed I was with it’s accuracy.  They acted suitably impressed.  😉   “Elder” (damn, I can’t remember his last name.  I’m terrible with names) #1 introduced himself and his buddy (whose last name was long and complicated, perhaps Slavic or Polish in derivation) and proceeded to chat a bit.

He asked about the antenna farm on the roof of my house, and I told them about HAM radio.  We chatted a bit about that, they were curious (or at least acted curious) about what it was and how it worked, and I got to “spread the word” to them a bit.

After a bit, they turned to the business at hand, their pitch for the Lord.  I won’t go into the complete conversation, but they didn’t seem at all put off when I told them I was an atheist.  Elder #1 even asked what the difference was between and atheist and an agnostic, and I explained what I thought it was, at least as I understood it.  I told them I had been an atheist since I was 12, and they took that news in stride.  They made the pitch for me to come to the church and get the visitor’s tour, which I declined.

As the conversation evolved, we touched on, of all things, the condition of my back yard and the work I was trying to do to get it back under control.  That situation came up because Elder #1 had asked if there was anything they could do for me, and I jokingly told them about the work the back yard needed.  They immediately volunteered,  or I should say Elder #1 did, but I declined that offer, as tempting as it would have been to have these two fine young men toiling away in my back yard!  I told them it was my “punishment” for letting it get so bad back there, but that I appreciated the offer.

I was contemplating how to work into the conversation that I was gay, but the opportunity never came up.  I was very curious how they would respond, and of course now that I’ve had a few minutes to think about it,  I’m coming up with several ways.  Damn, always think of the good things when it’s too late!  Maybe Elder #1 will stop by sometime to check up on me.  I’ve got to admit, he’s the cuter of the two.  Of course, I think they always travel in pairs to prevent anyone from going astray…   and I’m just daydreaming anyway!  But it’s a fun daydream  😉