Proposition 22.  Proposition 8.  Ballot initiatives in Maine.  Almost anywhere there is legal recognition for our relationships, some right-wing religious nutjob is trying to destroy them.  In some places, they’re winning, at least for the moment.

But stop and think for a moment.  This is what they are fighting against:

Love.

Lord Alfred Douglas, in 1894, called it “The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name”.  Things have changed some since then, but there are still people out there that want to shove it back into silence.  Force it back into the dark corners and hidden places, remove all mention of it from public discourse.  For them, only swift and severe condemnation is acceptable.  Any other conversation about the subject is immediately labeled “promoting homosexuality”.

It has bothered me for some time why this is so.  Why the rabid response to the issue any time it comes up?  I think I’ve figured it out…

They’re losing.  And they know it.  As bad as the recent setbacks have been, we’ve still come a long way in a short time.  Hawaii got the recent ball rolling in 1993, and it’s been a growing avalanche ever since.

It may seem depressing to us, in the moment, to see the outcomes here in California, in Maine, and in almost any jurisdiction that puts marriage rights to a popular vote.  We do need to step back, however, and look at the big picture.  Five states, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire, have legalized same-sex marriage.  Through either court action or state legislatures, the law has been changed to reflect the evolving understanding of civil rights in a secular society.  More nations around the world legalize marriage equality each year.  Places you would not expect, where the Catholic Church has a great hold, like Spain.  Even Portugal has a bill currently following their path to law.

The right wing, conservative, fundamentalist blocks in this country are in a panic.  They fight tooth and nail every chance they get to defeat or repeal any legal relationships we attain.  But they’ve realized something, even if they won’t admit it.  They’re losing!  It’s getting more difficult each time for them to trot out the old lies, even though they always try.  The lies about protecting the children, the lies about promiscuity, the lies about molestation, the lies about homosexuality being a choice.  They have no truth to stand on, and the wider public is realizing what they’ve been told all these years is false.

We have to keep with the struggle,  it’s going to be with us for a while yet.  Even if the Federal Court in California rules our way,  the losing side will immediately appeal.  And the losing side in THAT case will appeal to the US Supreme Court.

But remember this – they’re fighting against love.  No matter what they say, no matter what they do, they’re going to lose.  Even if it’s a matter of waiting till the older generations pass away, and those who are growing up now, thinking all of this discrimination is foolishness, come to power and vote the old ways into history, we still can’t give up.  Right is on our side.  Love is on our side.  All the other side has is hate.  They can’t win that way, and they know it.

Even if they won’t admit it.